The Station of the "Presence" before Allah
We all utter the word "Presence", but do not know what is its real impart. If anyone ever had the taste of this 'Presence', then only he could realize what it is. Hazrat Dr. Abdul Hai a spiritual leader in Pakistan used to say that sometimes the idea of "Presence" (before Allah) so thoroughly overtakes some servants of Allah that they cannot lie down or sleep with their legs stretched. That is because they are constantly absorbed in a feeling that they are in the presence of their Creator. Allah, and indeed how can one lie down with his legs stretched before an elder and far superior to him? He can never do so. Thus how can a person who enjoys such an exalted and rare status of
"presence" afford to joke with his wife. It is only a Messenger of Allah who can enjoy this unique privilege. Nevertheless, as Almighty Allah has conferred on man the status of an "incharge" or a ruler over women, his decisions will have to be obeyed. It is. however, open to women to offer their opinions; and Allah has indeed enjoined upon men to please their wives as far as possible. If a house-lady does not keep this in view and wants to impose her decision on her husband in all affairs and become a ruler in place of her husband, then this is against nature, the Shari ah wisdom and justice. The result of such an attitude on the part of housewives can lead to a total ruin of the household.

The Responsibilities of women
Allama Nuwa-wi (rah) has further stated, quoting a verse of The Holy Qur'an:

So virtuous women are obedient, guarding in secret what Allah has guarded. (4:34)

In the explanation of this verse the Allamah has said that it is the duty of virtuous women to be obedient (Qaa-ni-tah) to Allah, obedient to their husbands in the matter of the rights which are due by them to their husbands and to guard the houses of their husbands in their absence. Almighty Allah has mentioned it among the essential attributes of women. He has entrusted to them the duty of guarding the houses of their husbands when the latter are away from their houses. Guarding the houses means firstly to guard their own honour and chastity and guard the money and properties of their husbands, because, the duties of guarding these value rests on wives. This is confirmed in a Tradition:

(Sahih Bukhan. the Book of Friday chapter. Tradition no: 893)

A wife is the protector of the house of her husband, i.e. it is her responsibility to protect the money and properly of her husband. Under most circumstances it is not binding on a wife to prepare food, but she has been made responsible to protect the money and property of her husband in such a way that they may not be squandered. The Holy Qur'an has appointed this act of guarding as her essential responsibility:

The life cannot be based on the Laws only
It has been explained that preparation of food does not fall within the responsibilities of a wife. But this is a matter of legal technicality. It is, however, not possible’ to lead meaningful life under the duress of dry laws. Just as wife is not responsible legally to prepare food, in the same way a husband is not responsible legally to provide medical treatment to his wife if she falls ill. It is also not the legal responsibility of the husband to take his wife to the house of her parents to see them, nor is it necessary to welcome lo his house the parents of the wife when they visit their daughter. The jurists have gone to the extent of ruling that the wife's parents can see their daughter only once in a week, see her from a distance only and then go back. The husband is not responsible to welcome them into the house and offer them seats to sit and see their daughter. If life is confined within the thorns of the law, the household of both will be doomed. The wheels of life will run smoothly only when both pass their lives according to the Traditions of the Holy Prophet (saws) and follow in the footsteps of the sacred wives of the Prophet (saws)

Wife should take care of her husband's possessions
Hazrat Maulana Thanawi has stated in his sermons that it is among the duties of a wife to take care of the money of her husband that it may not be wasted and squandered lavishly. If a wife is careless in this matter then she frustrates the requirements of her legal obligations.

The Angels curse such a wife
(Sahih Bukhari, Book of Nikah. chapter women remaining away. Tradition no: 5193)

Hazrat Abu Hurairah (ra) has narrated that the Holy Prophet (saws) said: When a husband calls his wife to his bed for intercourse but she does not obey the call or behaves with her husband in such a way that the husband is displeased, then the Angels curse such a woman the whole night till dawn.

Cursing means that the woman will not receive Allah's mercy that night. This is because in spite of so many rights which the wife enjoys from the side of the husband, she fails to safeguard the chastity of the husband so as to prevent him from falling into some undesirable desires. The basic object of marriage is to provide safeguard against lewdness. If the wife fails to provide this safeguard the Angles must curse her.

Another Tradition
If a woman passes the night away from the bed of her husband, the Angels curse her until dawn. Now just consider how a small matter has been mentioned in the Tradition that if the wife fails in satisfying her husband's call for intercourse or to disappoint him in any other way. then she is cursed the whole night. Similarly if a wife leaves her husband's house without his permission, then the Angels of Allah curse her until her return. The Holy Prophet (saws) has explained all these matters one by one in all details, because negligence in these matters may lead grave consequences.

No optional fasting without husband's permission

SAHIH BUKHARI BOOK OF NIKAH TRADITION NO 5195

Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RA) has narrated that Holy Prophet (saws) said: It is not lawful for a wife to observe optional fast in the presence of her husband except with his permission. Great virtues have been mentioned in the Traditions for optional forms of worship, but a wife cannot observe them without the permission of her husband, because this may be a source of inconvenience to him. however, it is not like a good husband to prevent his wife from optional worship, unless it is unavoidable. He should be liberal in according permission as far as possible. Undue strictness in this matter leads to tension and bitterness. Husband and wife both should adopt a flexible attitude in this matter. However, if the husband does not permit his wife to observe optional fasts, she should not insist on it and obey her husband because obedience to the husband has preference to the optional fasting.

This shows that Allah and His Prophet (saws) prefer husband's obedience over all optional forms of worship. So the virtuous reward which a wife will earn by obeying her husband will be much more than that from the optional fasting. The wife should not misunderstand that she has been deprived of the virtue of fasting. She should think that she wanted to observe fasts only to earn reward of the Hereafter and to please Allah. On the other hand Allah has said that He shall not be pleased with a wife unless the husband of that wife is pleased with her. Thus, a wife can earn the same reward by eating and drinking which she could earn by observing the fasts, only if she pleases her husband.

Reward for doing Household work
Sometimes we are led to think that the husband and wife relation is only a worldly affair and a source of satisfying a sensual appetite. This is not correct. This is purely religious matter. If a wife is able to understand that Almighty Allah has imposed on her a duty and the aim of this husband-wife relation is to please the husband and through his Pleasure to please Almighty Allah, then this entire affair becomes a source of virtuous reward. The housewives are busy doing household work the whole day from morning till evening. If they do all this with the intention of pleasing their husbands then all this work is recorded in their ac-counts as worship, whether the work consists of cooking food looking after the house, brining up the children, minding the comforts and needs of the husband or pleasing the husband with an amicable and warming style of conversation. All these actions are rewarded in the Hereafter with divine favours, only when these are done with pure and sincere intention.

Virtuous Reward for satisfying the sexual desire
There is a definite and clear Tradition on this subject. The Holy Prophet (saws) has said that Almighty Allah grants recompense on the mutual contacts between husband and wife. The Holy Companions (ra) asked: O Prophet (saws) of Allah, man does this only to satisfy his sexual desire; how can it fetch him a reward? The Holy Prophet (saws) said: Will not man commit a sin if he satisfies this desire with unlawful means? The Companions said. Yes. Prophet of Allah, it will indeed be a sin. The Holy Prophet (saws) then said: The husband and wife satisfy their sexual desires in a lawful way. by shunning the unlawful ways, in compliance with Allah's injunctions so they shall receive reward for this action as well. (Musnad ibn Hambai. vol 5 Page 169167)

Almighty Allah looks at both with Merciful Eye
There is a Tradition which Hazrat Maulana Thanawi has quoted in many places in his writings and sermons, although I myself have not seen it. The Tradition mentions that if a husband on entering his house casts a glance of love on his wife and the wife also responds with similar glance on her husband Allah also looks at them with mercy. Therefore, the husband-wife relation is not only a worldly affair. They are source of happiness or distress in the Hereafter.

According to a Tradition in the Tirmidhi Hazrat 'Ay-eshah (RA) has narrated: To compensate the fasts which I missed in the month of Ramadan on account of natural period I used to observe compensatory fasts generally during the month of next Sha 'ban, i.e. after the lapse of eleven months. I followed this practice because the Holy Prophet (saws) also observed fasts on most days in the month of Sha'ban. Fasting in the month of Shaban was better because the Holy Prophet (saws) also used to fast in most of the days of Sha'ban. Although these were not optional fasts but obligatory fasts of Ramadan. Hazrat 'Ayeshah postponed these fasts for such a long time to avoid inconvenience to the Holy Prophet (saws) . (Sahih Muslim. Book of Siyam. Chapter Qaza Ramadan in Sha'ban Tradition no: 11466).

A wife should not allow a stranger into the House
The next sentence of this Tradition is: It means that it is also an obligatory duty of the wife that she should allow none to enter her husband's house without his permission, nor should she allow a person to enter the house whom the husband does not like. It is strictly forbidden for a wife to allow anyone to enter the house at her own option. The same point has been emphasized in greater detail in another Tradition: (Tirmidhi. The Book of suckling, chapter about the wife's rights over her husband Tradition no 1163)

You should remember that you have some rights over your wives and your wives have some rights over you. i.e.. both have some rights over each other. It is necessary for each side to fulfill and protect the rights of the others. What are those rights? They are: O men your rights over your wives are that they should not allow those persons to use your bed whom you dislike, nor should they allow those persons to enter your houses whose entry you dislike. Here two rights have been mentioned:

(1) It is binding on the wife not to allow a person to enter the house whose entry the husband dislikes. This applies even to such person as may be close relatives of the wife. The parents are allowed to visit the house only to have a look at their daughter. The husband cannot stop them from this, but it is not lawful for them to stay in the house without the permission of the husband, because the Holy Prophet # has asked them in clear words not to allow the entry of undesirable persons whoever they may be.

(2) The Holy Prophet (saws) has also advised that the wives should not allow those persons to use the bed of their husbands whom their husbands do not like. It includes sitting, lying down, and sleeping on the bed of the husband.

The Islam of Hazrat Umme Habeebah
The mother of the believers, Hazrat Umme-Habeebah (RAA) is one of the sacred wives of the Holy Prophet (saws). The history of the Holy Companions (ra) is fraught with guidance. Hazrat Umme-e-Habeebah is the daughter of Hazrat Abu Sufyan: who spent about twenty-one years in opposing the Holy Prophet (saws) and took parts in battles against him. He was one of the leaders of Makkah and embraced Islam on the occasion of the victory of Makkah and thus became a Companion. It is a manifestation of the omnipotence of Almighty Allah that Hazrat Umme-Ha- Beebah, the daughter of such a great infidel leader, and her husband both embraced Islam, while her father was engaged in opposing and resisting the Muslims. The Islam of his daughter and son-in-law greatly displeased Abu Sufyan and he was not able to tolerate their conversion to Islam. He was. therefore, always taking all possible steps to torment them. At that time many Muslims, compelled by the cruel treatment of the unbelievers, had migrated to Abyssinia and Hazrat Umme-Habeebah and her husband were also among the Muslim migrants. They both lived there. Strange are the ways of Almighty Allah! After sometime Umme-Habeebah dreamt that the face of her husband had altogether changed and distorted. When she awoke she feared lest something untoward should happen to the faith and religion of her husband. After the lapse of a few days the meaning of that dream was revealed. Her husband used to visit a Christian on account of which he lost his Islamic faith and turned a Christian. This mishap struck Hazrat Umme-Habeebah as a boll from the blue. For the sake of Islam she left her parents, her homeland and all her dear ones and settled in this foreign land, and the only sympathiser and helper, her husband, turned a Christian. It was like a doomsday for her. After sometime her husband died in this condition and she remained all alone with none to look after her.

Her marriage with the Holy Prophet (saws)
The Holy Prophet (saws) received the sad news in Madi-nah that her husband had become Christian and died as such and Hazrat Umme-Habeebah; was left all alone in a foreign land. In this state of her loneliness and helplessness the Holy Prophet (saws) sent a message to the King of Abyssinia, Negus, to convey to Umme-Habeebah the Prophet's proposal of marriage with her. The message was conveyed to her through Negus.

Hazrat Umme-Habeebah herself relates her story:

"One day I was sitting in the house alone when someone knocked at the door. When I opened the door I found a maid standing there. I asked her, "From where have you come?" She replied: "Negus the King of Abyssinia has sent me to you (This is the same Negus who had believed in the Holy Prophet (saws) and embraced Islam) I again asked her. "Why has he sent you to me?" She replied. "He has sent me to you because Hazrat Muhammad, the Prophet of Allah has sent through King a proposal of his marriage with you." Hazrat Umme-Habeebah says that when the words of the proposal entered her ears she was struck with surprise as well as happiness to such an extent that she gave the maid in return for the glad news whatever she had with her at that time. Thereafter both were married, while Hazrat Habeebah was in Abyssinia and the Holy Prophet (saws) was in Ma-dinah. After sometime the Holy Prophet (saws) made necessary arrangements to bring her back to Madinah. (Al-lsabah feeTamee-zis Sahabah. vol. 4. p 298 Ramlah)

The Reasons for the Prophet's Multi-Marriages
It is a fact that the Holy Prophet (saws) married man)y wives to which ignorant and evil-disposed people raise objections. It is. however, also a confirmed fact that at the back of every marriage lies some marvelous wisdom-Look at the wisdom at the back of this marriage. In what a pitiable condition Hazrat Umme-Habeebah was living in Abyssinia, no one to help or look after her. If the Holy Prophet (saws) had not sympathised with her what would have happened to her? After marrying her in this deplorable condition, he (saws) called her back to Madinah.

Non-Muslims extol this
It is also a marvelous event and miracle of the Holy Prophet (saws) that after the Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Umme-Habeebah when the news reached Hazrat Abu Sufyan in Makkah. and he was then an arch-enemy of Islam and of the Holy Prophet (saws) and an infidel, the following words spontaneously escaped from his mouth:

This is a happy news, because Muhammad (saws) is not among those men whose proposal can be turned down. It is indeed a matter of good luck that she has gone there.

Breach of Agreement
At Hudaibiyah a treaty of truce was signed between the Holy Prophet (saws) and Abu Sufyan the full details of which are available in history books. Abu Sufyan and other infidels abided by the conditions of this treaty for one year only. Thereafter, they began to violate those conditions. In consequence the Holy Prophet (saws) declared that he was no longer bound to abide by the treaty and as such he (saws) could attack the Holy Makkah as and when he wished. When his enemies did not honour their covenant he (saws) too was not bound to honour it. After this declaration Hazrat Abu Sufyan feared that the Holy Prophet (saws) could attack the Holy Makkah at any time.

You are not fit for this Bed
Once Hazrat Sufyan was returning from Syria, the Muslims arrested him and his caravan. Hazrat Abu Sufyan. however, managed some how To enter the Holy city of Madinah secretly. He did this with the idea that his own daughter was in the house of the Holy Prophet (saws) and would talk to him (saws) and might thus secure his release: He. therefore, secretly entered the house of Hazrat Umme-Habeebah his daughter welcomed him. When he entered the house the bedding of the Holy Prophet (saws) was lying spread and Hazrat Abu Sufyan wanted to sit on it. Seeing this Hazrat Umme-Habeebah, quickly went ahead, rolled up the bedding and kept it aside. (Hazrat) Abu Sufyan was very much astonished at this action of his own daughter and said:

Ramlah! Is this bedding not worthy of me or am I not worthy of this bedding? Hazrat Umme-Habeebah, replied: My dear father! The truth is that you are not worthy of this bedding. It is the bedding of Muhammad the Prophet of Allah (saws) and I cannot allow in my life a Mushrik (Idolater) to sit on this bed.

(Hazrat) Abu Sufyan (ra) said in reply: Ramlah! I little knew that you would become so changed that you would not allow even your own father to sit on this bed. This acti on of Hazrat Umme-Habeebah that she did not allow even her own father to sit on the bed of the Holy Prophet (saws)was in accordance with this Tradition: "your wives should not allow such persons to use your bedding as you do not like. (Al-Isbah Tameezis-Sahabah vol iv P 298 Ramlah)

The wife should approach her husband willingly.
The Holy Prophet (saws) said: a husband calls his wife for his desire she must come to him even if she is in a kitchen.

(Timiidhi. Book of suckling – Haqqul Zauj ‘alal-mirati Tradition no 1160)

Hazrat Talaq bin Ali (ra). has narrated that the Holy Prophet (saws) said: When the husband calls his wife for his need, it is binding on the wife to go to him at once, even if she is busy at the oven (baking bread). That is she should not refuse to respond to the husband's call even in such critical moments.

Marriage is the Lawful way of satisfying sexual desire
Almighty Allah has created in every man and woman a natural desire of sexual satisfaction and He has prescribed for the satisfaction of this natural desire a lawful way and that way is the institution of marriage. Amicable relations between husband and wife are most important in the fulfillment of this natural demand. That is why through His many commands and injunctions Allah has opened all the lawful ways for the satisfaction of this natural instinct and desire, so that no man and no woman may ever think of taking resort to unlawful ways to satisfy this desire. Husband and wife must cooperate with each other in the satisfaction of this desire, so that none may be induced to look to someone else for this purpose in violation of Allah's commands.

Marriage is an easy matter
That is why Allah has made it very easy to establish a matrimonial relation. It requires only the presence of two (man and woman) and two witnesses is necessary. The man and the woman agree before the two witnesses to accept each other as wife and husband and that is all. The marriage stands finalised. It is not necessary even to recite the matri-monial recitation - it is only a Sunnah. It is also not necessary that this simple rite should be performed by a Qazi (a professional official to solemnise marriage) or any other person. It is also a Sunnah if a third person, say a Qazi. does the job.

If before two witnesses one of the couple says: "I married you" and the other says, "I accepted the offer of marriage", the marriage stands solemnised. Neither it is necessary to go to mosque nor is it necessary to have a person as an intermediary. The lawful way of marriage in Islam has been made so simple!