A Blessed Marriage
It has also been ordained that the marriage ceremony and formalities must be very simple and easy. No observance of customs, no special conditions and no elaborate and pompous celebrations arc necessary. According to a Tradition once a son or daughter comes of age the parents should arrange their marriage so that they may not feel the need of taking an unlawful course and the lawful course may become easy for them to follow. The Holy Prophet (saws) has said in a Tradition:

The best marriage is one which is very simple and easy.

The more a marriage ceremony is extended with various rites and pomp and show the lesser shall be the blessings in it.

The marriage of Hazrat 'Abdur Rahman bin 'Auf (ra)
Hazrat Abdur Rahman bin Auf (ra) is a companion of high dignity and one of the ten Promised of Paradise,viz, those companions whom the Holy Prophet (saws) had given in their lifetime the glad tidings of Paradise. Once when he came to the meeting of the Holy Prophet (saws) the prophet saw on his shirt a yellow stain. When the Holy prophet: inquired from him about the coloured spot, he said:

O messenger of Allah (saws), I have married a woman and at the time of the marriage I had applied scent, and this is the stain of the scent. Then the Holy Prophet (saws) said:"May Allah grant you blessings in it. Arrange a matrimonial feast (Walimah). even it is with one goal only." Sahih Bukhan. Book of purchases. Tradition no: 2048)

The point to be noted in this Tradition is that Hazrat Abdur Rahman bin Auf is one of the ten Promised of Paradise and a most closely associated companion of the Holy Prophet (saws) yet not only he did not invite the Holy Prophet (saws). to the marriage ceremony, but he did not also even inform him of the marriage. He informed the Holy Prophet at the time of answering his question about the coloured spot on his shirt. The Holy Prophet (saws) did not complain to him that he was not invited to the marriage. This is because the Islamic Shariah has prescribed no conditions and restrictions for marriages.

We have made marriage a problem
Once Hazrat Jabir (ra) called on the Holy Prophet (saws) and told him: O Prophet of Allah! I have married a woman. Hazrat Jabir (ra) was a closely associated companion and he was frequently in his (saws) company, yet he did not invite the Prophet (saws) to the marriage ceremony, because in the Prophet's time it was a general custom that no special formalities were observed on the occasion of marriage, as is done in these days. Preparations are made from months ahead and the entire family is engaged in various activities. Without these a marriage is considered to be impossible. With our meaningless, rather undesirable customs and useless formalities we have made marriage a difficult and expensive venture. The Shari ah with its injunctions has made it simple and inexpensive. With the result that girls are silting in their parents houses without marriage growing over age. because their guardians are not in a position to afford dowry, magnificent celebrations in stately marriage halls. In collecting money for this purpose the difference between lawful and unlawful is totally ignored. We have given up the Sunnah of marriage and have, instead, adopted the ways of the Hindus and the Christians. Large amounts of money are needed to arrange a marriage and they can hardly be procured through lawful means. Film shows are going on in the houses day and night on the TV which mostly excite evil passions and deform the morals of the youth. If you go out in the markets your eyes will hardly meet any scene of temperate nature. As a result of this curses of obscenity, nakedness, shame-lessness are gaining currency in society. These un-Islamic customs and formalities have driven our society to the brink of ruin.

The Dowry is a curse on our Society
With regard to this evil the responsibility mainly devolves on those families that are well-fed well-to-do, rich and wealthy. The society cannot get rid of this curse unless the wealthy, the well-to-do and the rich people resolved to take practical steps to perform marriages in their families with simplicity and do away with the useless and wrong customs. A poor man is compelled by the prevailing trends that he has to go through all these vicious and expensive formalities to maintain his apparent social position. If dowry is not provided the in-laws will taunt the girl her lifetime for lack-ness. Today dowry is considered as an essential part of marriage. The burden providing the couple with the household necessities which should fall on the shoulders of the bride-groom has now been thrown on the weak shoulder of the bride's father. As if the grief and shock of parting with his dear daughter for good was not enough to break the nerves of the girls' father that he is made to bear the liability of lack of rupees to provide furniture, etc. To furnish another's house. There is no justification for such things in the Shari'ah. It is all right if some father wants to give his daughter’ anything: he can do so quietly and with simplicity without making a demonstration of the gifts.

In the end it may be repeated that if the rich classes of the society do not launch a campaign to eradicate these evils first from their own circles and show the path of simplicity to the less privileged classes, this curse cannot be eradicated from our society. May Allah infuse the truth in our hearts by His mercy. Aameen.

The husband's dignity
(Tirmidhi, Book of Suckling Chapter right of husband over wife. Tradition no: 1159)

Hazrat Abu Hurairah (ra) has reported the Holy Prophet (saws) as saying: If it had been lawful for me to command a person to prostrate before a person I would have commanded a woman to prostrate before her husband. As it is unlawful for any person to bow down before any other person, I cannot give this command before anyone but Allah.

This is an attachment between two hearts
In the journey of life where men and women are journeying together Allah has appointed the man an Incharge and a guardian. Except for this rank, all other ranks are short lived and temporary. Today a man is incharge, ruler or king but this rule and kingship is for a limited and appointed time. Yesterday he was an incharge and ruler, today he is in a jail; yesterday he was a king but today he is not worth a penny. These positions of rulership and kingship are only transitory. What is in existence today will perish and vanish tomorrow. As against this the attachment between husband and wife is a lifelong attachment, a continuous companionship, inseparable even for a single moment. The authority which a man wields lingers till death or till the validity of the marriage. This special authority or rank is, therefore, quite different from the commonly known authorities. In other authorities the attachment between the ruler and the ruled, the King and the subjects is only a formal, conventional and legal attachment, but this is not the case with the attachment existing between husband and wife. It is a welding together of two hearts, a fusion of two hearts whose effects encompass the entire lifetime. That is why the Holy Prophet (saws) said: If I were to order anyone to prostrate before any person I would order a woman to bow down before her husband, because he is the leader of the wife's life-journey.

The most beloved personality
It is the Sunnah (practice) of the Holy Prophet (saws) that he draws the attention of every person to his bounden duties. When he (saws) addressed the husband he stated all the rights of the wife, one by one. Now when he is addressing the women her attention is being drawn to her duties and she is advised to note well that the most honourable and beloved personality for her on the surface of the earth after Almighty Allah and His Prophet (saws) is her own husband, and that she cannot do full justice to the rights of and obedience to her husband unless she fully understands the truth. However, there is no denying the fact that the commands of Almighty Allah and His Prophet (saws) have preference and priority over all other things. When the question of obeying commands of Allah and His Prophet (saws) arises the commands to obey father, mother and husband are ignored. The status of the husband comes next to that of Allah and His Prophet. So, try to please him, pay the dues of his rights and obey him.

Modern Civilisation has reversed Everything
Today all things have taken an apposite course. Haz-rat Qari Muhammad Tayyib of Deoband (India) used to say that in modern civilisation everything has been reversed, so much so that in olden times there used to be darkness below the lamp but now there is darkness over the electric bulb.

Attending to the household affairs may not be an obligatory duty for women in the Shari'ah but it is surely a Sunnah (practice) of Hazrat Fatimah (raa) who used to do all the work of her house herself and with her own hands. Apart from this a woman has also been commanded to obey her husband. As such, if a woman does her household work, cooks food for her husband and children, she.is entitled to great rewards from Almighty Allah. But the concept of today's perverted civilisation is that a women's abiding within her house and performing the household duties is retrogression backwardness. What is happening today? A woman works as an air hostess serves food to four hundred passengers, stands before them with a tray decorated with drinks and food. She becomes the target of thirsty and greedy gazes of four hundred men. Each passenger on the aero plane takes from her a different service, sometimes calling her for nothing but only for lustful enjoyment and armorous exchange of words. The meaning of all this in the lexicon of modern civilisation is freedom and emancipation of women. If the same woman provides the same services to her husband, children, brothers and sisters, it is termed as being out of fashion and regarded as opposed to advancement and progress.

If the same woman is working in a hotel as a waitress and serving customers day and night with food and drinks she is an emblem of emancipation of women. It is her freedom if she becomes a secretary or a stenographer of some officer, but if the same woman does the same work within the bounds of her house for her husband, children and parents, this is considered to be out dated style of life:

You have named wisdom insanity; And named insanity wisdom,; Your wonder causing beauty is at liberty to do whatever it likes.

The Responsibility of a woman
The Holy Prophet (saws) is reported to have said that it is not obligatory for a woman to serve any individual of the world. She is free from all burdens and all responsibilities, except that she should stay peacefully in her own house, obeying her husband, and bringing up her children with care and love. This is her bounden duty and thereby she would be building the nation and she would be its architect. This is the place of honour which the Holy Prophet (saws) has granted to a woman. Now it is up to her to choose between the place of honour or the place of disgrace.

Woman entering Paradise directly
(Tirmidhi. the Book of suckling, chapter on the rights of a husbandTradition no: 1161)

Hazrat Umme Salmah (raa) has narrated that the Holy Prophet (saws) said: If a woman dies in a state that her husband is pleased with her she will enter Paradise directly.

He is your Guest only for a few days
(Tirmidhi Book of suckling chapter no 19. Tradition no: 1174)
Hazrat Ma'az bin Jabal (ra) has narrated that the Holy Prophet (saws) said: When a wife troubles her husband (because sometime a woman is ill natured and teases her husband, then his wife whom Allah has ordained for him in paradise in the form of houries, address his worldly wife form Paradise as under: Do not torture him, because he is a guest of yours for a few days and is expected to leave you and come to us soon. The Holy Prophet (saws) has addressed the following words of admonition to ill-natured women: You are doing no harm to your husbands by troubling them. You may harm them in this world as you like, but in the Hereafter Almighty Allah shall many them with Houries of beautiful eyes who love their worldly husbands so dearly that they are pained to see even now that their worldly husbands are in trouble by their worldly wives.

The Greatest Trial for men
Sahih Bukhari. Book of Nikah. chapter on maa yat-taqi. Tradition no: 5096
Hazrat Usamah bin Zaid (ra) has narrated that the Holy Prophet (saws) said: I have not left behind for men a trial more harmful than the trial by women.

The trial by women is the hardest trial for men in this world. It will require a voluminous book to record how these women become a trial for men.

How is women a Trial ?
The Arabic word "Fitnah" means a trial. Allah has created women a trial for men in this world. But how is woman a trial? It is not possible to clarify this point thoroughly in a short time. She is a trial as she was to Haz-Rat Yousuf (as) (Joseph) Allah has endowed man with the tendency of being attracted by a woman. Allah has given clear instructions about the unlawful and lawful channels of satisfying one's desires. To leave man free to choose between two ways is a trial, indeed. The second trial by means of a woman how he behaves with his wife. In other words, does he deal with her in the way which Allah and His Prophet fife have shown him or does he deviate from that way and exploits her rights?

A woman becomes a trial when man is involved in her love that he ignores the demands of the Shari 'ah. Is he satisfying her and meeting her demands without minding what is lawful and what is unlawful? Is he not providing his wife religious teaching and training? This is also a trial because, man is facing two contending problems. Love for the wife demands that he should not interfere with her in her actions, whereas it is the demand of Shari ah that she should be compelled to keep within the limits of its laws. In short, there are trials at even step and a man cannot steer clear of these trials except with the help of Almighty Allah. A man should, therefore, try his best to discharge the rights of his wife and also pay attention to her training and education. While keeping in view her loss and gain, he should at the same time also shun all unlawful activities and temptations. As man cannot succeed in all these trying situations without Allah's help, the Holy Prophet (saws) has taught us a supplication:

O Allah! I take refuge in you from the trials of women.

This contains a hint that it is not possible to go through this trial and remain safe from its harms without Allah's specific help. It is, therefore, necessary to turn to Almighty Allah and pray with submission and sincerity that He may protect us from falling into the pit of errors and sins and temptations. Everyone should make this supplication a part of his daily prayers.

Everyone is a Caretaker and Guardian
Sahih Bukhari the book of Friday, chapter Friday prayer in villages… Tradition no. 893

This is a wonderful Tradition and is very comprehensive in its import and the Tradition has been addressed to everyone of us. Everyone will be questioned about the persons and things which have been placed under his charge. The Arabic word "Ra’I" means a guardian or a caretaker. It also means a herdsman, because he feeds the herds of goats and sheep. It also means a ruler and those over whom he rules are his "Rayiyah" subjects. The Holy Prophet (saws has. therefore, said that everyone is a guardian or caretaker and he will be asked on the Day of Judgment how he discharged his duties of caretaking and guarding, his subject.

The Ruler is the Guardian of his subjects
Every Ruler is the guardian of those placed under his care. He will be asked on the Day of Judgment: How did you look after them? The conception of a Ruler in Islam is not wearing the crown of Ruler ship. and keeping himself aloof from his subjects. The conception of a Ruler in Islam is to serve and take care of the subject. That is why Hazrat Umar Farooq (ra) has said: Even if a dog dies hungry on the bank of the river Euphrates I think that on the Day of Judgment I shall be asked, "O Umar why a dog died hungry during your rule."

Caliphate a huge burden of responsibilities
When Hazrat Umar Farooq the Great (ra) was fatally wounded, the people requested him to nominate someone to succeed him as caliph after him. At that time they recommended to him his son for the Caliphate. Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar was undoubtedly a dignified Companion. None had any doubt about his learning, righteousness, and sincerity. When the people proposed to him the name of his son. Hazrat Umar Farooq the Great said: Do you want me to nominate after me as caliph a person who does not know how to divorce his wife? The incident is as follows:

During the days of the Holy Prophet (saws) Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar (ra) divorced his wife during her menstruation period and he did not know that to divorce a woman in this condition was forbidden . The Holy Prophet (saws) ordered him to revoke the divorce, and in obedience to the Prophet's order he did revoke the divorce. In rejecting the people's advice to nominate Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar as caliph after him. Hazrat Umar Farooq referred to this event of divorce.

The people again insisted on their proposal on the plea that Hazrat Abdullah's fault in the matter of divorce was due to his ignorance of the injunction about divorce and this did not disqualify him for the Caliphate. The reply which Hazrat Umar Farooq gave to the people I worth remembering. He told them: It is quite enough that the noose of Caliphate fell around the neck of one of the sons of Khattab. Now 1 do not want to put this noose of Caliphate on the neck of any other member of my clan. The reign and Caliphate are really a very heavy burden of responsibility. On the occasion of accountability in the Hereafter it will be a great boon for me if I am let off with no loss and no gain.

This is the conception of a Ruler and a Guardian in Islam. He further added:

Man is the Guardian and protector of his wife and children.
Man is Guardian and Protector of his household.

His wife, children and other members of which he is head arc all included in the meaning of household. The head of the household will be questioned in the Hereafter about every member. He will be asked: This household was placed under your control How did you deal with your wife and children? In what manner did you look after them and how did you discharge their rights? Did you ever take care if they were following the path of religion or not to see if they were going in the direction of Hell? Did you ever pay attention to such vital matters? Man will be questioned about all these things on the Day of Resurrection as has been said in the Holy Qur'an:

O believers save yourselves and your family from the Fire.... (66:6)

According to the injunction contained in this verse it is not enough that the believers should save only themselves from the punishment of the Fire of Hell by doing good deeds like praying, fasting, optional acts of devotion, remembrance of Allah, etc. while paying no attention to the activities of their children and other persons under their charge and thus failing in their duty to save the latter also from the punishment of the Fire of Hell. Beware, that on the Day of Judgment you will be questioned why you did not discharge your duty. You will be punished for this neglect on your part. That is why it was said that man is a guardian over his household.

The woman is a Guardian over the household and the children
And the woman is a guardian over the house of her husband and his children.

Thus, the care of two things have been entrusted to the woman, the house of her husband and his children. She is required to guard the house, manage it efficiently in all its affairs, including the care and supervision of the children in matters relating to the world as well as to the faith. This is included in the duties of women. This Tradition has thus explained the duties of man and woman.

Follow the Sunnah of Hazrat Fatimah (raa)
Hazrat Fatimah (raa) is the leader of the women of Paradise. After marriage she went to Hazrat Ali's house. Hazrat Ali and Hazrat Fatimah both decided between themselves that Hazrat Ali (ra) would attend to outdoor work and Hazrat Fatimah would discharge her duties within the house with great diligence and enthusiasm and she would also serve her husband with love and faith. The work she had to do required great labour and was hard lor her. It was not an easy job as it is in our times that you switch on the electric stove and the food is ready. In those days the preparation of food involved grinding the barley on a hand mill, collecting wood, and firing the oven for baking the bread. It was indeed a tedious job to do which Hazrat Fatimah did willingly and without murmur. When, as a result of the battle of Khai-bar. great spoils including slaves and maids fell into the hands of the Holy Prophet (saws) he (saws) began to distribute them among the Companions (ra) . Someone advised Hazrat Fatimah to approach the Holy Prophet (saws) for a slave or a maid. Hazrat Fatimah therefore, called on Hazrat Ayeshah
and requested her to tell the Holy Prophet (saws) that owing to grinding flour her palms were hard and knotty and while carrying the water bag the straps had left its mark on her breast. It would be a great relief to her if a slave or maid was given to her. After making this request Hazrat Fatimah returned home.

When the Holy Prophet (saws) came home, Hazrat 'Ayeshah conveyed to the Prophet (saws) his daughter's problems and her request for a slave or maid. After all the Holy Prophet was a father and Hazrat Fatimah his dearest child. You may well imagine how he must have felt stirred in his heart, but he remained calm and sent for Hazrat Fatimah and said to her: Fatimah you have asked me for a maid or a slave. I would not like to provide a maid or slave to Muhammad's daughter, unless every resident of Madinah had one.

Tasbeeh Fatimah - a Unique formula
The Holy Prophet (saws) . said: I, however, prescribe for you a remedy that will serve you better than a slave or a maid and it is this: On the night when going to your bed make it a regular practice to recite 33 times (Sub-haa-nallah), meaning Glorified is Allah, 33 times {Al-ham-du lil-laah), meaning all praise be to Allah and 34 times (Al-laa-hu Akbar) meaning Allah is the Greatest of all.

Hazrat Fatimah (ra) was not an ordinary woman, she was the daughter of the Holy Prophet (saws) . She felt contented with these divine words, and went back. That is why this Zikr is called "Tasbih-e-Fatimah,"

The Holy Prophet (saws) made her dear daughter a model for women to be followed by other wives. Whatever the legal position, the sunnah is that the wife should be a guardian of her husband's house and as a guardian she should work for her husband as she should work for her own self.

Mother is responsible for bringing up the children
The woman is not only the guardian of the husband's house but she is also the guardian of his children. The Holy Prophet 4& has placed on the shoulders of the housewife the responsibility of bringing up and serving and educating them. If the children are not being brought up on the right lines if they are not learning the Islamic etiquettes and ways of living, the mother will be questioned first and her husband will be questioned later. She will be asked: Why did the children being in your lap remained devoid of the Islamic conduct, character and etiquette of Islam. The Holy Prophet (saws), therefore, repeated the same sentence:

Everyone of you is a caretaker and everyone will be questioned about the person and things placed under his charge. May Almighty Allah, by His mercy, help us in understanding these obligator,' duties and in discharging them. Aameenl

And we close with the call that all praise to be Allah, the lord of the worlds

TAKEN FROM DISCOURSES OF ISLAMIC WAY OF LIFE VOL II