As soon as the children cross the age of childhood and reach adolescence, the
parent's responsibilities and anxieties take a new turn. The parents of fully
grown up sons start dreaming of a house full of happiness, as their sons will
bring in daughter-in-laws; and, in the case of daughters, they become worried
and perplexed at the prospect of their daughter to belong to another household
for ever, and of finding a good husband to look after her just as they had done.
The marriage of children by their parents is a social, legal responsibility on
the shoulders of the parents, as well as their natural desire.
Islam strongly advises to arrange the marriage of eligible and responsible
children as soon as a suitable match is found for them. Ages may vary according
to place, times and climes. The only reason for the delaying of marriage for
a normal and healthy child, should be that a suitable match is not found or
the child is not yet capable of supporting a family. Unnecessary delay in this
matter and negligence in a matter as important as this, can have serious social
problems and irrepairable damage to the iman faith and corruption of dignity
of that child and his entire family.
The Holy Prophet of Allah, Muhammad bin 'Abdullah (saw) had Said, "One who is bestowed with children by the Almighty Allah, should give them good
names, fine training and education and get them married when they gain adulthood.
In case if they are not married, and they transgress the limits of virtue, the
father will be held responsible".
In
another tradition, the last Messenger of Allah (saw) is reported to have
said, " It has been ordained in the Torah: old-Testament, that a father,
whose daughter reaches the age of twelve, and due to the delay in marriage,
indulges in wrong behaviour, will bear the responsibility of that sin" (see
Olgar, Musa Ahmad, Upbringing of Children, Madrassah Banat al-Salihat, Isipingo
Beach Durban, South Africa, 1993 pp. 154-7.)
When finding a suitable match, take into
consideration the following Tradition, and not rush into a matter which entails
lifelong commitment. It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurairah (ra)
in the mishkat al-Masabih that the noble Messenger of Allah said, " A woman may be married for four reasons: for
her wealth ; her status; her beauty and for her piety. Try to marry a pious
girl, and prosper". A pious wife is termed as " The best object of
benefit in this world " by the last and noble Prophet (saw). He also been
reported to have said, " Marry loving and fertile women, for indeed I
will envy you for your numerical superiority ( to other nations on the day
of reckoning) ".
Khalid Dhorat (Moulana)
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