The marriage of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالم to
'Aishah bint Abu Bakr when she was at quite a young age has been the focus
of quite a bit of criticism in the West. Unfortunately, in this Neo-Colonialist
Age of smart bombs, MTV, CNN and the Big Mac, some of those who profess to
be Muslims have themselves become critics. Many Muslims, faced with the juggernaut
of allegedly "universal" Western liberal values that have permeated
almost everyone around them, sheepishly avoid discussion of such "embarrassing" Islamic
issues. It is a keenly true observation that even though the European powers
have pulled their colonial armies out of Muslim lands and granted them "independence",
an even worse plague continues. This curse is "Colonialism of the Mind" and
it is more dangerous since it is much more subtle. Insha'llah, this article
will be a contribution to making both Muslims and non-Muslims aware of not
only the objective facts regarding the Prophet's صلى الله عايه وسالم marriage
to 'Aishah, but how to understand it in light of Islam and life in the "modern" world.
Regrettably, for those of us trying to
spread the truth of Islam in the West, we often have to agree with the
Orientalist W. Montgomery Watt when he wrote: "Of all the world's great men none has been so much maligned
as Muhammad."1 But here, for a change, were are dealing with something
that is an authentic part of Islamic history, not an apocryphal or fabricated
event that Westerners have been duped into believing is authentic, such as
the so-called "Satanic Verses" incident. That a man in his fifties
would marry such a young girl—especially a man who is supposed to be
a living example of piety—is not only difficult for many "modern" Westerners
to come to terms with, but it has even gone so far as to stir up disgusting "sexual
misconduct" charges amongst them. In the face of such criticism, Muslims
have not always reacted well. In the past century, when so many Muslims were
so "Westoxicated" and ready to monkey Europeans in almost anything,
the usual reaction was to deny the sources that reported the alleged "embarrassing
problem".
To Muslim "modernists", who argued that ONLY a legal ruling found
in the Qur'an was Islamically valid, brushing aside this aspect of the Prophet's
life was rather easy. They simply denied that it had occurred and attacked
the sources which reported it. Fortunately for Muslims, the apologetics of
these "Uncle Toms of Islam" has faded into the periphery to a large
extent. However, there are still many Muslims out there who try to get around
what they see as a problem by ignoring authentic Islamic sources while claiming
to be followers of the Ahl as-Sunnah. (which basically means "orthodox
Sunni" Muslims, for those unfamiliar Islamic terminology). Many other
Muslims possibly wonder whether the story is authentic and how to understand
it if it is.
THE ISLAMIC EVIDENCE OF 'AISHAH'S AGE
Due to the apparent
ignorance of many Muslims, possibly due to reading "modernist" apologetic
literature like that mentioned above, a look at what the authentic sources
of Islam say about the age at which 'Aishah married the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم is
in order. This way, before we move on to an analysis of the facts, we will
first establish what the authentic Islamic facts are. At this point, it should
be mentioned that it is absolutely pointless from an Islamic standpoint to
say that the age of 'Aishah is "not found in the Qur'an", since
the textual sources of Islam are made up of BOTH the Qur'an and the Sunnah
- and the Qur'an tells us that. For those wanting (or needing) to learn more
about the status of the Sunnah in Islam, please read An Introduction to the
Sunnah and/or The Sunnah and Its Position in Islamic Law. Now in regards
to what the authentic Islamic sources actually say, it may come as a disappointment
to some "modern" and "cultured" Muslims that there are
four ahadith in Saheeh al-Bukhari and three ahadith in Saheeh Muslim which
clearly state that 'Aishah was "nine years old" at the time that
her marriage was consummated with the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم.
These ahadith, with only slight variation, read as follows:
'Aishah, may God be pleased with her, narrated that the Prophet was betrothed
(zawaj) to her when she was six years old and he consummated (nikah) his
marriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for
nine years. (Saheeh al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 64)
Of the four ahadith in Saheeh al-Bukhari,
two were narrated from 'Aishah (7:64 and 7:65), one from Abu Hishaam (5:236)
and one via 'Ursa (7:88). All three of the ahadith in Saheeh Muslim have
'Aishah as a narrator. Additionally, all of the ahadith in both books agree
that the marriage betrothal contract took place when 'Aishah was "six years old", but was not consummated
until she was "nine years old". Additionally, a hadeeth with basically
the same text (matn) is reported in Sunan Abu Dawood. Needless to say, this
evidence is—Islamically speaking—overwhelmingly strong and
Muslims who deny it do so only by sacrificing their intellectual honesty,
pure faith or both.
This evidence having been established,
there doesn't seem much room for debate about 'Aishah's age amongst believing
Muslims. Until someone proves that in the Arabic language "nine years old" means something other
than "nine years old", then we should all be firm in our belief
that she was "nine years old" (as if there's a reason or need to
believe otherwise!?!). In spite of these facts, there are still some Muslim
authors that have somehow (?) managed to push 'Aishah's age out to as far
as "fourteen or fifteen years old" at the time of her marriage
to the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم.
It should come as no surprise, however, that none of them ever offer any
proof, evidence or references for their opinions. This can be said with the
utmost confidence, since certainly none of them can produce sources more
authentic than the hadeeth collections of Imams al-Bukhari and Muslim! Based
on the research that I've done, I feel that there is a common source for
those who claim that 'Aishah's age was "fourteen or fifteen years old" at
the time of the marriage. This source is "The Biographies of Prominent
Muslims" which is published in book form, on CD-ROM and is posted
in several places on the Internet. Just another example of why going to
the sources is important . . .
THE PROPHET'S MARRIAGES IN PERSPECTIVE
To put all of this
in perspective—hopefully without undue apologetics—the
first thing that one should be aware of is that 'Aishah was the third wife
of the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم,
not the first. Prior to this, the Prophet's صلى الله عايه وسالم first
and only wife for twenty-four years was Khadijah bint al-Khuwaylid, who was
about nineteen years older than him. He married Khadijah when she was forty
and he was twenty-one—which might be called the years of a male's "sexual
prime"—and stayed married ONLY to her until her death. Just after
Khadijah's death, when he was round forty-six years old, the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم married
his second wife Sawdah bint Zam'ah. It was after this second marriage that
the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم became
betrothed to 'Aishah, may God be pleased with her. She was the daughter of
Abu Bakr, one of the Prophet's closest friends and devoted followers. Abu
Bakr, may God be pleased with him, was one of the earliest converts to Islam
and hoped to solidify the deep love that existed between himself and the
Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم by
uniting their families in marriage. The betrothal of Abu Bakr's daughter
'Aishah to Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالم,
took place in the eleventh year of Muhammad's prophethood, which was about
a year after he had married Sawdah bint Zam'ah and before he made his hijra
(migration) to al-Madinah (Yathrib). As mentioned above, the marriage with
'Aishah bint Abu Bakr was consummated in Shawwal, which came seven months
after the Prophet's hijra from Makkah to al-Medinah. At the time of his marriage
to ''Aishah, the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم was
over fifty years old.
It should be noted that the Prophet's صلى الله عايه وسالم marriage
to 'Aishah was an exceedingly happy one for both parties, as the hadeeth
literature attests. 'Aishah, may God be please with her, was his favourite
wife and the only virgin that he ever married. After emigrating to al-Madinah,
Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالم married
numerous other wives, eventually totalling fifteen in his lifetime. Even
though we do not have time to go into the details of each one of them here,
each of these marriages was done either for political reasons, to strengthen
the ties of kinship or to help a woman in need. Quite a few of the wives
were widows, older women or had been abandoned and thus were in need of
a home. Additionally, it should be mentioned that the same collection of
Muslim hadeeth literature that tells us that 'Aishah was only nine years
old at the time of the marriage tells us that the marriage was Divinely
ordained:
Narrated 'Aishah, may God be pleased
with her: The Messenger of God said (to me): "You have been shown to me twice in (my) dreams. A man was
carrying you in a silken cloth and said to me, 'This is your wife.' I uncovered
it; and behold, it was you. I said to myself, 'If this dream is from God,
He will cause it to come true.'" (Saheeh Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62,
Number 15)
Thus like everything that the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم did,
there was wisdom behind it and lessons to be learned from it. The wisdom
behind such incidents provides us guidance on the basis of human morality,
exposes the double standards of misguided hypocrites from other religions
that criticize Islam and much more. But more on that subject below. . .
CRITICISM ADDRESSED AND ENTERTAINED
Myself and many other
Muslims should no longer be surprised by the double standards that Christians
display when they criticize the conduct of Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالم,
since we've heard it for so long. To have an atheist, agnostic—or anyone
else who does not believe in a Divinely revealed basis for morality—criticize
something that is "politically incorrect" by today's moral standards
comes as no surprise. Such people will always find something to criticize,
since they simply have a bone to pick with "religion" in general.
All of this "absolute morality" talk gets in the way of them having
a good time, so they want to mock it, discredit it and do away with it. The
criticism of Christians, however, is another matter. While it is true that
Christians speak out against the "moral relativity" which is spreading
amongst the increasingly secular society today, they too are unconscious
victims of it. The values of most Christians today come from the humanist
values of Western Europe (or, at a minimum, are heavily influenced by them).
Their values DO NOT come straight out of the Bible—in theory or in
practice—regardless of what they may claim.
That Christians today try to take credit
for the so-called "Freedom", "Human
Rights", "Democracy" and "Women's Rights" in Europe
and America is nothing short of a joke. It may impress uneducated people
in so-called Third World countries, but anyone who has studied history knows
that these things came about in spite of the Church, not because of it. The
way in which many Christians uncritically mix non-Christian values with (allegedly)
Biblical values has always fascinated me. One interesting example of this
is how nationalism and patriotism are supported amongst the majority of Evangelical
Protestant (and even other) Christians in the United States. In America,
good Christians are flag wavers. Few, if any, of these fiercely patriotic
minds ever seem to realize that narrow-minded patriotism is, at its core,
both selfish and non-universal. That patriotism and Christianity go hand-in-hand
in the minds of many people is just an example of how we can be blindly sucked
into "moral relativism" without even realizing it.
According to Judaism, Christianity and
Islam, right and wrong are ordained by Almighty God. As such, morality
does not change over time based on our whims, desires or cultural sensitivities.
In cultures where there is no Divinely revealed ruling on an issue, what
is right and what is wrong is determined by cultural norms. In such cases,
a person would only be considered "immoral" if
they violated the accepted norms of their society. As we will demonstrate,
the Prophet Muhammad's صلى الله عايه وسالم marriage
to 'Aishah, viewed both in the light of Absolute Morality and the cultural
norms of his time, was not an immoral act, but was an act containing valuable
lessons for generations to come. Additionally, this marriage followed the
norms for all Semitic peoples, including those of Biblical times. Based on
this, and other information that we will provide below, it is grossly hypocritical
for Christians to criticise the Prophet's صلى الله عايه وسالم marriage
to 'Aishah at such a young age. In case Christian readers are under the
false impression that their values today are timeless and somehow reflect
those of Biblical times, please consider the following points which are
directly related to the question of at what age a person is properly ready
to be married:
Keeping in mind the ideas of "political correctness" and "absolute
morality", in Biblical times the age at which a girl could marry was
puberty. However, during the Middle Ages it was usually twelve years old.
Now in most "Christian" countries it is between fourteen and sixteen
years old. I live in country where some states allow partners of the same
sex to legally marry, but consider an eighteen year old boy who sleeps with
a sixteen year old girl a "statutory rapist". So even though Christians
might disagree with much of what is becoming all too prevalent in Western
society today—whether it be drug abuse, gay marriages or abortion—they
too have been swallowed up (possibly unknowingly) by the ugly monster of "moral
relativism". Certainly, they might be giving in less quickly than
people who do not believe in a Divine basis for morality, but they're giving
in nonetheless.
Historically, the age at which a girl
was considered ready to be married has been puberty. This was the case
in Biblical times, as we will discuss below, and is still used to determine
the age of marriage in what the culturally arrogant West calls "primitive societies" throughout the world.
As the ahadith about 'Aishah's age show, her betrothal took place at least
three years before the consummation of the marriage. The reason for this
was that they were waiting for her to come of age (i.e. to have her first
menstrual period). Puberty is a biological sign which shows that a women
is capable of bearing children. Can anyone logically deny this? Part of the
wisdom behind the Prophet's Muhammad's صلى الله عايه وسالم marriage
to 'Aishah just after she reached puberty is to firmly establish this as
a point of Islamic Law, even though it was already cultural norm in all Semitic
societies (including the one Jesus 'peace be upon him' grew up in). The large
majority of Islamic jurists say that the earliest time which a marriage can
be consummated is at the onset of sexual maturity (bulugh), meaning puberty.
Since this was the norm of all Semitic cultures and it still is the norm
of many cultures today—it is certainly not something that Islam invented.
However, widespread opposition to such a Divinely revealed and accepted
historical norm is certainly something that is relatively new!
The criticism of Muhammad's صلى الله عايه وسالم marriage
to 'Aishah is something relatively new in that it grew up out of the values
of "Post Enlightenment" Europe. This was a Europe that had abandoned
(or at least modified) its religious morality for a new set of humanist
values where people used their own opinions to determine what was right
and wrong. It is interesting to note that Christians from a very early
time criticized (again hypocritically) the Prophet's practice of polygamy,
but not the marriage to 'Aishah. Certainly, those from a Middle Eastern
Semitic background would not have found anything to criticize, since nothing
abnormal or immoral took place. It was European Christians who began to
criticize Muhammad on this point, not ones who were in touch with their
Semitic roots.
It is upon reaching the age of puberty
that a person, man or woman, becomes legally responsible under Islamic
Law. At this point, they are allowed to make their own decisions and are
held accountable for their actions. It should also be mentioned that in
Islam, it is unlawful to force someone to marry someone that they do not
want to marry. The evidence shows that 'Aishah's marriage to the Prophet
Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالم was
one which both parties and their families agreed upon. Based on the culture
at that time, no one saw anything wrong with it. On the contrary, they
were all happy about it.
None of the Muslim sources report that
anyone from the society at that time criticized this marriage due to 'Aishah's
young age. On the contrary, the marriage of 'Aishah to the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم was
encouraged by 'Aishah's father, Abu Bakr, and was welcomed by the community
at large. It is reported that women who wanted to help the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم,
such as Khawlah bint al-Hakeem, encouraged him to marry the young 'Aishah.
Due to the Semitic culture in which they lived, they certainly saw nothing
wrong with such a marriage.
Society's ideas of love, family and marriage
are much different in the so-called "modern" and "civilized" West
of today than they were in Biblical or Qur'anic times. Unfortunately, many
of us carry the baggage of "romantic love" and ideas about sex
that have managed to poison our minds since the Europeans (and their ideas)
came to dominate the globe. These ideas have not only penetrated into the
minds of Muslims, but actually permeate many of them. The European colonial
powers have pulled out of almost all Muslim lands, but the colonization of
the minds continues! As we mentioned above, the sad part is that most people
do not even realize that they are under such un-Godly influences. Just to
reference the way things have changed, a statement in The New Encyclopaedia
Britannica makes it clear that values regarding the proper age of marriage
have been changing over the years: ". . . in the United States and parts
of Europe the association of adult status with sexual maturity as expressed
in the term puberty rites has been unwelcome".2
The significance that sex and sexuality
are thought to play in human psychology has its roots in Freudian thought.
Even though many of Freud's ideas are being heavily challenged today, many
of his ideas still play a role in the thinking of many people. Sigmund
Freud (1856-1939) taught that humans are basically "sexual beings" whose childhood sexual urges are the
key to understanding their behaviour. He developed the methodology of psychoanalysis
and his ideas on sex, repressed guilt and sexuality, the subconscious sex
drive, the Oedipus complex and other ideas have come to almost haunt the
Western view of sexuality (almost as much as the repressive views of the
Roman Catholic Church). Needless to say, Freud's ideas have been criticized
by believing Jews, Christians and Muslims since they basically deny human
moral responsibility. In Freud's view of things, human beings are prisoners
to the effects of unconscious forces and their sex drive. Such ideas are
always welcomed by "liberals", "humanists" and others
like them. The point of all this in regards to young marriage, however, might
be less clear. What needs to be pointed out is the contradictory "modern" Western
view of sexuality.
They are taken aback by the thought of marriage at the
age of puberty, even though it's an age old custom. However, they have
junior high schools where sex education is taught and a society where sexually
permiscuous "dating" is
considered the norm. Sometime sex is simply a natural pleasure to be enjoyed,
but at other times it is a psychological demon of far reaching consequences.
In short, everything from their private lives to their court systems, have
fallen victim to the moral relativity of the psychiatrists and psychologists.
The attitude that any experience in life can be seen as some sort of "trauma" is
very widespread. Many people go through life constantly obsessed about what
sort of "complex" they may be suffering from due to experiences
they've had in their relatively normal life. The morality which is produced
by such attitudes all but does away with human responsibility. People who
are guilty of serious crimes, instead of being held responsible for their
actions, are themselves considered "victims", since they are
only doing what their psychological makeup causes them to do.
PUBERTY = MATURITY = MARRIAGE
The above points having been
presented, some additional details on a few of them is worthwhile.
An interesting article on the age at which people married in Biblical times
is Ancient Israelite Marriage Customs, by Jim West, ThD—a Baptist
minister. This article states that:
"The wife was to be taken from within
the larger family circle (usually at the outset of puberty or around the
age of 13) in order to maintain the purity of the family line;"
This is just one reference to the fact
that the onset of puberty was considered the age at which young people
could marry. That people in Biblical times married at an early age is widely
endorsed. While discussing the meaning of the word 'almah, which is the
Hebrew word for "young woman" or "adolescent
female", Gerald Segal says:
"It should be noted, however, that in biblical times females married
at an early age".3
In spite of its somewhat arrogant Western
talk of "primitive cultures",
An Overview of the World's Religions makes it clear that puberty is an
age old symbol of adulthood:
"Almost all primitive cultures pay
attention to puberty and marriage rituals, although there is a general
tendency to pay more attention to the puberty rites of males than of females.
Because puberty and marriage symbolize the fact that children are acquiring
adult roles, most primitive cultures consider the rituals surrounding these
events very important. Puberty rituals are often accompanied with ceremonial
circumcision or some other operation on the male genitals. Female circumcision
is less common, although it occurs in several cultures. Female puberty
rites are more often related to the commencement of the menstrual cycle
in young girls."
Some female authors agree:
"Puberty is defined as the age or period at which a person is first
capable of sexual reproduction, in other eras of history, a rite or celebration
of this landmark event was a part of the culture." (Rites of Passage:
Puberty, by Sue Curewitz Arthen)
"Getting your period" marks
a rite of passage for young girls entering womanhood (From the Women's
Resource Center)
Another contemporary reference relating
marriage age to puberty is an article on Central Africa, which says: ". . . women marry soon after puberty"4.
The previous quotations, and plenty of others which were not used, should
prove to any intelligent person what anthropologists and historians already
know: in centuries past, people were considered ready for marriage when
they reached puberty.
It should be mentioned that from an Islamic
point of view, many problems in society today can be traced back to the
abandonment of early marriage. Due to the way that Almighty God has created
man and woman, i.e. with strong sexual desires, people should marry young.
In the past, this was even more true since life expectancy was very low
(i.e. you were considered "old" if
you made it to 40!). Not only does marriage provide a legal outlet for people
with strong sexual desires, but it usually produces more children. One of
the main purposes of marriage is to produce children—"be fruitful
and multiply" as the Bible says (Genesis 8:17). This was especially
important in the past, when people did not live for as long as they do
now and the infant morality rate was much higher.
THE AGE OF PUBERTY
Even though we have established that
puberty has been the historical, cultural and religious norm for indicating
readiness for marriage, some may wonder at which age puberty normally
takes place. This is somewhat meaningless in regards to our specific discussion
of Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالمand
'Aishah, since the hadith literature makes it clear that she had reached
puberty. However, in regards to puberty and at what age most girls have
their first menstrual cycle, 'Abdul-Hamid Siddiqi says:
Islam has laid down no age limit for
puberty for it varies with countries and races due to the climate, hereditary,
physical and social conditions. Those who live in cold regions attain puberty
at a much later age as compared with those living in hot regions where
both male and female attain it at a quite early age. "The average temperature of the country or province," say
the well-known authors of the book Woman, "is considered the chief factor
here, not only with regard to menstruation but as regards the whole of sexual
development at puberty."5 Raciborski, Jaubert, Routh and many others
have collected and collated statistics on the subject to which readers
are referred. Marie Espino has summarised some of these data as follows:
(a) The limit of age for the first appearance of menstruation is between
nine and twenty-four in the temperate-zone; (b) The average age varies
widely and it ay be accepted as established that the nearer the Equator,
the earlier the average age for menstruation.6
Additionally, an article entitled Puberty
in Girls by an Australian government Public Health organization, says: "The first sign of puberty is usually
a surge of growth: you become taller; your breasts develop; hair begins to
grow in the pubic area and under the arms. This may start from 10 years to
14 years - even earlier for some and later for others." An article
Physical Changes in Girls During Puberty has this to say:
"During puberty, a girl's body changes,
inside and out, into the body of a woman. The changes don't come all at
once, and they don't happen at the same time for everybody. Most girls
start showing physical changes around age 11, but everyone has her own
internal schedule for development. It's normal for changes to start as
early as 8 or 9 years of age, or not until 13 or 14. Even if nothing looks
or feels different yet, the changes may have already begun inside your
body."
Many will readily agree with the information
above, but still may harbour reservations about whether a marriage to an
older man could be happy for such a young girl. Putting aside the modern
Western notions of "happiness" for
a moment, the marriage of 'Aishah and the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم was
a mutually happy and loving one as in expressed in numerous hadeeth and
seerah books. That happy marriages occur between people with a fairly large
difference in ages is known among psychologists:
"When the differences (in ages) is great, e.g. exceeds fifteen to twenty
years, the results may be happier. The marriage of an elderly (senescent)
not, of course, an old (senile) man to a quite young girl, is often very
successful and harmonious. The bride is immediately introduced and accustomed
to moderate sexual intercourse" 7
MORE WISDOM BEHIND IT
In his comments on the ahadith in
Sahih Muslim which mention 'Aishah's young marriage to the Prophet , 'Abdul-Hamid
Siddiqi shows points three other reasons for this marriage:
'Aishah's marriage to the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالم at
an early age allowed her to be an eye witness to the personal details of
his life and carry them on the succeeding generations. By being both spiritually
and physically near to the Prophet صلى الله عايه وسالم,
the marriage prepared 'Aishah to be an example to all Muslims, especially
women, for all times. She developed into a spiritual, teacher and scholar,
since she was remarkably intelligent and wise. Her qualities helped support
the Prophet's work and further the cause of Islam. 'Aishah, the Mother of
the Believers, was not only a model for wives and mothers, but she was also
a commentator on the Qur'an, an authority on hadeeth and knowledgeable in
Islamic Law. She narrated at least 2,210 ahadith that give Muslims valuable
insights into the Final Prophet's daily life and behaviour, thus preserving
the Sunnah of Muhammad صلى الله عايه وسالم.
At that time, this marriage refuted the
notion that a man could not marry the daughter of a man who he had declared
to be his "brother" (even
in the religious sense). Since the Prophet and Abu Bakr had declared each
other to be "brothers", this notion was done away with. This
is demonstrated in the following hadeeth:
Narrated 'Ursa: The Prophet asked Abu
Bakr for 'Aishah's hand in marriage. Abu Bakr said, "But I am your brother." The Prophet said, "You
are my brother in God's religion and His Book, but she ('Aishah) is lawful
for me to marry." (Saheeh al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 18)
The marriage did away with the pagan Arab superstition that it was a bad
omen to be married in the month of Shawwal. They thought that the month carried
this omen since the word Shawwal was derived from Shaala, which itself was
believed to carry a bad omen. The authentic ahadith indicate that the Prophet
and 'Aishah were married in this lunar month.